


Take my Heart Along

by morethanwords



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-08 23:27:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1960197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morethanwords/pseuds/morethanwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life's never simple when you're the star of a hit tv show, but love will always find a way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chris sat at a corner table of one of LA's 'finest' chain pizza restaurants, wondering for the hundredth time this evening if he'd done the right thing. He'd been so fed up with his own company - no offence to Brian, his adorable cat - that he just felt the need to get out there, in amongst the normal people going about their everyday lives.

 

In a moment of mad inspiration he'd dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt that had seen better days, stuck his beanie hat on his head, and ventured out, by public transport of all things, into the throng of LA nightlife. He was sure that the string of people who 'told him what to do' would be tutting and fretting if they had any inkling of where he was. But, hey, he was nineteen years old and well, they should try living in his shoes.

 

Nineteen years old and lonely. That pretty well summed him up. Of course, on the surface it looked like he had it all. One of the lead roles in a popular tv series, a big apartment that most other people his age could only dream of, celebrity parties and events to attend several times a week if he so desired, but more and more frequently it just wasn't what he wanted.

 

Of course he had friends. Having had a hard time in high school, bullied for his voice and sexuality and with very few friends to talk of, it was a revelation when he landed the part on Glee. Immediately he had an instant family who celebrated his differences and made life worth living. Whilst Chris loved his other cast members, often spending spare time with any number of them. (Those kids definitely knew how to party when the time was right, of that there was no doubt). It's just that whilst some of the others had paired off, Chris had no one to call his own - even just as a friend, never mind to get romantically involved with.

 

Things had improved for a while. Someone new had joined the show - Chris' co-star and eventual love interest in the show storyline. For the first couple of months they'd grown close, done things together. Initially for the benefit of the show; they needed a rapport, a chemistry, right? They found they got on really well. Lunches on and off set, lots of texting, phone calls and even the occasional movie night at one or other of their apartments. For once Chris had a taste of what having a best friend could be like., 

 

Then Darren's girlfriend had arrived on the scene. She'd always been there apparently, but for the first couple of months had been touring with her band, so was hardly ever around. But now she was back. Living right here in this great city; sharing her art with the good people of LA....and Darren.

 

Now, all he ever heard from everybody was 'Darren and Mia' this, 'Darren and Mia' that. She was hooked on Darren's arm at all the parties and functions they attended. Photographed together, Darren's arm curled round her tiny waist.

 

Chris had to admit, Darren hadn't really changed since she'd returned.. He was friendly with everyone anyway, but had seemed to know that Chris needed a friend without him ever, ever breathing a word. That's one of the things Chris loved about him, that despite his carefree, bubbly persona, he was actually quite perceptive, at least as far as Chris was concerned. It was just that Mia was always 'there', reaffirming what Chris already knew in his heart... that Darren could never truly be 'his' - best friend or otherwise.

 

Chris propped his laptop open on the table in front of him, slowly eating the pizza which had been delivered to his table. He wasn't planning on wasting valuable book writing time, even though he had been desperate for a change of scene. He had deadlines to meet after all, and different surroundings might just give him some inspiration for his story. Also, well, he didn't want to look like a sad loser who didn't have anyone to go out for a simple pizza with, so looking like he was here with a purpose was probably a good idea. 

 

Thankfully no one had recognised him. In fact, the place was so packed with people (a lot his sort of age) just enjoying a night out, that no one had given him a second glance. He'd definitely be doing this again, he decided, or maybe a burger.... It was years since he'd been to a McDonalds. Maybe he could make this a once a week thing - his own little secret.. 

 

Chris' thoughts strayed back to Darren as he stopped typing to make a dent in his oversized pizza. (How could anyone eat a whole one of these?) There was a time when Chris would probably have called Darren if he'd felt like doing something remotely reckless, and at the very least Darren would have taken his mind off it. Doing something reckless had it's limitations when you're 'role model' famous - hence the reason why sneaking out to a chain restaurant on his own was as wild as it got.

 

Darren had invited him to do things a few times lately - movie night, a meal at Darren's local Chinese restaurant (it had been 'their' restaurant before Mia had appeared on the scene), even a gig one night, but Chris had found himself pretending he was busy. He would've loved to have done any of those things with Darren, but he didn't want anyone inviting him out just because they felt sorry for him. He'd rather suffer with his loneliness that face anyone else's pity. Anyway, if you had a girlfriend, weren't you supposed to spend your free time with them?

 

He hadn't completely cut Darren out, but he had to protect his fragile heart somehow. At work they often ate lunch together, sometimes in one of their trailers if they had scenes to learn. Mind you they were terrible at that - hours later often sidetracked talking about a hundred and one other things, or Darren would pick up his guitar and they'd end up messing around singing silly songs, or great songs in silly voices.

 

Chris turned back to his typing. He may not have the freedoms of most nineteen year olds, but how many people his age had had a book published, a best seller no less, and a contract to write three more books. He definitely had something to be proud of. He may not have yet found someone to love who could love him back, but he was sure that one day it'd happen, and in the meantime he just had to get on with his life the best he could, making the most of every opportunity.

 

********

 

Darren followed Chris into his trailer when there was a break in filming the next day. They'd both had a busy morning rehearsing and filming although they hadn't had any scenes together, which in turn meant they'd barely seen each other.

 

"How's it going? Chris asked as Darren closed the door behind him, flipping the lock more out of habit than necessity.

 

"Where were you last night?" Darren questioned, ignoring Chris' question and throwing himself onto the small couch. 

 

Right. "Um. I was out." Darren looked at Chris a little too intently for his liking. When you lived alone how was it possible for your actions to be under such close scrutiny? Would he have to be accounting for what channels he watched on tv next? 

 

"I figured... I didn't know you were going out though." He wasn't aware that he was supposed to give Darren details of all his movements. Why was everyone so involved in his business?

 

"I suppose you tell me every time you leave the house, do you? I mean I hope you're not going grocery shopping without my knowledge - Anyway why? Chris tried not to sound annoyed at the interrogation, but couldn't help the edge of sarcasm that had crept into his comment. He loved Darren dearly.. But wasn't he entitled to his own life?

 

Darren had the grace to look a little sheepish. "Fair enough.... Although I do sometimes tell you - and I did only see you yesterday..."

 

"I think 'sometimes' is the operative word here Darren. You sometimes tell me. It just didn't come up." Chris sighed, then smiled at Darren, "Are you turning into my dad or something?"

 

Darren smiled back at him. "I just called round...last night," he said softly.

 

Chris startled. "You called round?...my apartment? Without phoning first..?"

 

Darren laughed lightly, "yeah I know.. Stupid idea. You weren't home obviously.. And then I was worried."

 

Gosh, this conversation was getting weird. Why would Darren be worried? Chris came and sat next to Darren on the couch. He could and should be honest with Darren. What harm was there in telling him where he'd gone last night. He'd been the best friend Chris could've wished for, still was really, and he'd often told him things he'd never tell anyone else, even his other close friends, and he knew for a fact that Darren had never breathed a word of anything Chris had told him. 

 

"I just fancied getting out," Chris said quietly looking down at his hands. "Fed up with my own company, you know. I mean Brian was sulking, so I just decided to dress down and go for a pizza..by myself.... Spur of the moment thing..." He tried to make a lighthearted joke of it, but wasn't sure it had come out as jovial as he'd hoped.

 

When Chris looked up though Darren was grinning at him. "Phone me next time.... I'm nothing if not spontaneous."

 

"Oh.. I know. Where d'you think I caught it from?" Chris said teasingly. "But I didn't call you, because.. Well..Mia. You know."

 

"Mia?" Darren looked genuinely confused. 

 

"Yes Darren. You know... Girlfriend? Person you spend quality time with when you're in a relationship. If you have an identical twin you haven't told me about who's in a relationship with Mia Swier, I think you should come clean now..." Chris cut himself off- to be honest they hadn't talked about Mia very much when they'd been alone. He didn't really know why - the thought of Darren and Mia together gave him a indescribable dull ache, but it wasn't just him, Darren hardly ever brought her up in conversation either. 

 

Darren ran his hands down his thighs where he sat, wiping an invisible layer of sweat from his palms, sighing as he did so. Then the usual chirpy smile returned to his face. "Hey. I share my love.. Just phone me next time - I'll be offended if you don't."

 

********

 

It was another two weeks before Chris found the need to have one of his 'nights out'. He'd been in meetings all day. One in which he found out that his life had been planned out for him months ahead. Okay, there had been days off and a holiday factored into the equation, but he just felt like his life was spiralling out of his control. 

 

Heading off for a solo trip to the movie theater felt like a defiant act of rebellion. He could have mentioned it to Darren he supposed - see if he was free - but the stubborn part of Chris didn't want to be anybody's second choice of companion. He was probably being silly, but it was only a movie after all.  
What did it matter?

 

Chris perused the small selection of literature that was available in the theater foyer. He'd fully intended to arrive at a time when he'd be able to go straight in to see the film, but his timings were all out and he was left having to kill time before being allowed to enter. He felt a bit guilty when he remembered that nowadays, being a 'celebrity' meant he rarely had to wait anywhere. He would have been ushered in at the last minute with a flurry of activity.

 

He pocketed a flyer containing future movies times for the upcoming couple of weeks - if this trip worked out, he might be needing that - and then picked up another piece of information, settling into details about children's birthday parties at the theatre. Who knew all the options that were available to kids these days.

 

It was while he was trying to blend into the background that Chris was startled by a laugh across the other side of the foyer that sounded eerily familiar. He peered over the top of the flimsy literature he'd been hiding behind, secure in the knowledge that nobody would recognise him in the small gap between the leaflet and his trusty blend in beanie hat.

 

First of all he thought it might be a figment of his imagination. He couldn't see anyone familiar, although the foyer was pretty crowded. But then the laugh came again, and this time he realised the swinging ponytail over by the pick and mix stand was none other than Mia.

 

Chris had to do a double take. Mia Swier was also here at Chris' local movie theater. She, like him, was dressed down in casual attire, but unlike Chris didn't appear to be trying to hide. Chris didn't recognise any of the small group of friends she appeared to be with and the guy whose arm she was hanging onto while she doubled up in laughter, was definitely not Darren. Of course Mia must have friends Chris didn't know about - he was hardly privy to her inner circle - but surely Darren was... 

 

Chris wondered what Darren was doing that Mia would be here without him. He realised, sadly, that Darren had things going on that Chris didn't probably know about, mainly through his own doing. Stupidly, in an attempt to stop himself getting hurt and distancing himself from Darren, he was probably hurting himself more.

 

It stood to reason that Mia would have a wide circle of friends, after all she was involved in the music industry, the tv industry... And there was a wealth of opportunity to mix with like-minded people in either of those - and she was, in some ways like Darren, a social animal. Chris had always imagined wanting to spend every waking moment with your partner if you were dating, but maybe that's just not how it worked in real life. In fact Chris did actually like Mia. Sometimes she was at the studios and they'd often chatted about various things, and she was always sweet to him, but Chris just couldn't help that the green eyed monster that clawed at his fragile heart when he thought about her and Darren together, clouded his judgement at times.

 

Chris felt like a second rate version of a private eye as he peered at Mia from behind the theater literature stand, and for someone who wasn't supposed to be drawing attention to himself, he was probably doing a bad job at that too. At the very least if anyone was watching him, even if they didn't recognise him, they'd no doubt think he was behaving strangely. And if they did recognise him, well, there could be all sorts of trouble. Chris swallowed down all the scenarios and consequential disasters that started to swirl around in his head. It was ridiculous to start worrying about things that may not even happen.

 

The trouble was, even though he knew he shouldn't be spying (there was no other word for it), he really couldn't stop himself. As much as he wished Darren wasn't 'straight' and dating Mia, he would really hate for him to be cheated on. So... He was just keeping an eye on things, looking out for his best friend's welfare.

 

Mia was still chatting amicably with the group she was with. She had such a bubbly personality and her pretty laugh rang out across the foyer every now and then. Her fingers, however, remained discreetly linked with the guy she was standing next to, the one she'd been fooling round with earlier, even though he wasn't the one she was talking to at the moment. Chris almost gasped aloud when 'said' guy leaned over to give her a small chaste kiss on the lips before the whole group headed off to the screen where their film was showing - fortunately a different one to Chris.

 

There could have been a million different explanations. Lots of his 'Glee' friends were very touchy feely, including Darren, the concept of personal space nothing like the boundaries Chris had had to endure in high school. At first Chris had felt awkward trying to reciprocate any affectionate actions which were made towards him, but he made every effort to embrace his new friendships even though behaving that way didn't necessarily come naturally to him, and he was improving, he really was. Mia probably just behaved that way with all her friends, and maybe reading too much into it wasn't a good idea.

 

**********

 

The next morning was an early start with rehearsals for everyone at the studios. Chris virtually beat everyone else off for a coffee when break time was called, he felt dead on his feet, his brain one big fuzz. He collapsed in a chair in the corner of the room once he had his precious cup of steaming caffeine - this was strictly medicinal, and he really didn't want to be disturbed while he drank it. If he was going to survive twelve hours of rehearsals he needed to pull himself together. He really should have stayed home last night and gone to bed early, then he wouldn't be feeling like this.

 

When Chris had got home from the movie last night, which he had hardly watched after he'd seen Mia, his imagination taking over in creating a variety of scenarios after what he'd seen, he'd decided to try and do some work. A major mistake - having got no work done whatsoever, his head was in such turmoil, he'd woken up this morning still fully dressed on the couch, stiff, sore and in a foul mood. His early morning coffee he'd made first thing hadn't helped - he was seriously thinking of putting up a public health warning for everyone to stay away from him for today if his mood didn't improve. 

 

He really had to stop worrying about Darren, Mia and anyone else who crossed his path and just concentrate on himself for a bit. Friendly concern over Darren had ended up inadvertently making him feel like crap for the day, and there was Darren, having boasted about staying up half the night playing Xbox with his flat mate, Joey, still as chirpy and lively as ever. Grrrr. That's the best his incoherent mind could come up with.

 

Chris took a few large gulps of his too hot coffee, then leaned back, thunking his head against the wall and closed his eyes. At least nobody would hopefully disturb him if he feigned sleep, and make him regret not going back to his trailer for a bit of peace and quiet. The humdrum of everyone else's chatter washed over him as he wondered how a trip to see a movie had snowballed into the mess he was in now. 

 

He thought he probably had drifted off as a noise startled him close to his ear. "Chris. Are you okay?"

 

Chris cracked an eye open to see Darren's concerned face alarmingly close to his own. "You are still with us then," Darren stated with a friendly smile, as Chris managed to ease his other eye open just to check Darren wasn't an apparition. 

 

"Hmm." Chris wanted to be grumpy with Darren, but couldn't quite bring himself to. "Tired... Feel like crap.."

 

"I figured.. I've brought you something." Chris glanced at Darren's face before looking down at the lidded cardboard cup and small bag he was holding. "I know you think you need coffee.. But it's hot chocolate, and trust me - it really helps. There's a cookie as well.." Darren slipped down into the seat next to him, pushing the cup into his hands.

 

Chris took a few sips of the drink. It did actually taste good. He drank some more, a bit more enthusiastically this time. "S'good," he mumbled, "thanks." Darren rustled around in the bag, breaking off a piece of the cookie and handing it to Chris.

 

"Here. This'll help," Darren offered, as Chris took the piece of chocolate chip cookie. Darren had known these were one of Chris' weaknesses and would be unlikely to turn it down, especially today. "I've got a few years on you on this - don't forget I've survived college - and I've worked out a few survival techniques if you're having a rough day.."

 

Chris smiled weakly. "Wouldn't mind if I'd been out partying or something... just couldn't sleep." He wasn't about to go into details of why he couldn't sleep. "Think I'd like to keep you by my side for times like this, you being a bit of an expert." Chris was only half joking at his last statement he scarily realised as he said it.

 

Darren gave a small chuckle, putting a hand on Chris' knee. "I'm always here for you, Chris," Darren said, suddenly turning a little more serious. "Not just for this. If you need me for anything.. Anything at all.. or even just because you're bored and need someone to be put the world to rights with.."

 

Chris smiled, trying to hide his blush by picking up the cookie bag and diving in to break off another piece. "You're going to have to get me a personal trainer if these cookies are going to be your solution to all my problems," he commented dryly, drawing out a loud laugh from Darren.

 

He had to admit as break time was declared 'over' and he headed back to the rehearsal room, he did actually feel a hell of a lot better. He had a pleasantly full feeling with hot chocolate and cookie in his tummy, and a warm glow around him from Darren's thoughtful actions and words, although he did have to sternly remind himself that Darren was nice to everyone and reading too much into it wasn't the best idea.

 

******


	2. Chapter 2

The next time Chris ventured out for a night on his own, someone actually came up and spoke to him. He'd gone to the same pizza restaurant as before, feeling a bit safer going somewhere familiar, and somehow he just felt like a fly on the wall almost forgetting he was even able to interact with any of the other people. 

 

He had managed to snag the same table as last time, tucked away in the safety of the far corner. A good table for observing without hopefully being observed.

 

He was startled from his laptop by a young girl, around his own age, asking if she could share his table as there were no other free tables. When he looked up, Chris noticed that the restaurant had indeed somewhat filled up since he'd arrived and it seemed a bit churlish to refuse as he was sitting at a table big enough for four people.

 

Chris nodded his agreement, "Sure," as he shuffled his laptop over to give her enough room. 

 

"Thanks," she offered, "it's a little busy in here tonight." 

 

Chris hummed in agreement as the girl sat down and got out her phone. She appeared to be rapidly firing a message off to someone. Chris busied himself on his laptop - when his pizza arrived he might not have room to for it so if he could get some work done now he wouldn't feel so bad about not getting as much done as he should. 

 

After a few minutes the girl stopped texting and Chris could feel her keep glancing up at him. It wouldn't do any harm to talk to her would it? She looked harmless enough ... And wasn't the reason he was here because he was lonely, fed up with his own company? Trying to shake off his feelings for Darren? Best not think about that now! Even if she had recognised him from Glee - it would surely be a bit rude not to offer a few words. The show depended on its fans after all.

 

"Here on your own?" He smiled over at her. Obviously she was, but it was a conversation opener. 

 

She looked a little surprised that he'd spoken to her, but smiled back at him. "Yeah.. Not by design, but it seems that way. So yes I am."

 

"Oh?" Chris said, letting her know he wanted to hear the rest of her story.

 

"It's all pretty boring really. I was supposed to be meeting someone but they ditched at the last minute... I was already here by then, so I thought 'what the hell' - I need to eat anyway. So here I am, joining the other sad and lonely people out on their own." After a pause she chuckled, blushing. "I really don't mean to imply that you're a sad and lonely person .. Eating alone."

 

Chris snorted. He already liked this girl. "Oh, I probably am ... But no offence taken."

 

"Was it a date?" He asked tentatively.

 

He was her turn to snort this time. "God. No. It was a guy, but I only met him yesterday. Not even someone I'd probably class as friend yet, in fact, probably never after tonight." They both laughed.

 

"I've only just moved here, so I don't know many people yet..." she further explained.

 

"Tell me about it." Chris said. "I've lived here a while, but moved here for work.. So my friends are really my work colleagues. It's boringly complicated, but sometimes you just need a change - hence me being sad and lonely, here on my own."

 

"My name's Ashley," she smiled up at him, offering her hand for Chris to shake as a belated introduction. 

 

"Nice to meet you Ashley." He shook the hand she offered. "Chris."

 

"I know," she said quietly. 

 

"Oh really! My disguise not that good?"

 

She shook her head. "No. No it's not that... I've moved here so it's easier to go to auditions and things. Only yesterday I went to audition for Glee.. And so of course I know who you are.. But I promise I only recognised you after I sat down. I'm really not some crazy stalker."

 

"Oh wow! That's amazing... An amazing coincidence.."

 

"I know.. That's why it sounds like I'm just some crazy fan. I auditioned with Mark - Puck of course - I think the character's called Lauren..."

 

Chris felt a little sorry for Ashley. "It's fine. I know they were running some auditions yesterday. Hopefully you'll get a callback... And if not, well, you seem really nice anyway.." Chris had a feeling he and Ashley were going to become friends, whatever the outcome of her audition.

 

Two hours whizzed by. Chris knew he usually got on better with girls - There could be no misunderstandings. No awkwardness with straight guys feeling threatened that he was going to hit on them - even if the thought of that had been furthest from his mind. Just because he was gay didn't mean he fancied every man. Definitely not! But some people seemed to think that way. Having girls as friends was often just a lot simpler. The one exception to that rule was Darren who never seemed to be uncomfortable with Chris, no matter what the occasion. Not only could they talk for hours, but Darren had no qualms initiating hugs, cuddles while watching movies and once even gave Chris a toe curling massage where he had to sneak off for a cold shower immediately after. Although he had had a feeling Darren knew about that, even though it was never actually mentioned.

 

They exchanged numbers as they both packed up to leave with a promise to meet up again soon. Chris decided to trust his intuition on this one - He already felt like he'd known Ashley forever, and a friend of his own that wasn't intertwined with work was just what he needed. And if Ashley did end up working on the show, well that was fine too. He already knew she would make a great co-worker, she was so easy going, and just the fact that she would have been his friend first, before she joined the show, would mean their friendship would be a completely different dynamic. How Chris knew all this after one evening in a pizza restaurant he wasn't sure, but he just had a feeling. He also had a feeling he may not be having so many outings on his own anymore.

 

****

 

Then came Lea's party. Well, really Lea and Cory's party, as Cory kind of lived with Lea. He had his own apartment, but somehow just spent all his time at Lea's. Chris guessed they'd probably rectify that situation soon. Lea was one of Chris' best friends from the show, and he just wanted her to be happy. There was a couple of days off from filming. Everyone was exhausted, so Lea decided they all needed to wind down with copious amounts of alcohol and a fun night at her place. Nobody was going to argue with that one.

 

Chris had a bit of a love hate relationship with alcohol. He loved it, it hated him. He avoided drinking a lot of the time, but every now and then when he was buzzing with too much working and a lack of a decent nights' sleep, he let himself indulge. Tonight was going to be one of those nights he decided. He was fed up behaving sensibly all the time. He was the youngest member of the cast - it was time he let himself go for a change.

 

To his delight, his friendship with Ashley had blossomed. She was a great texter and a great friend for sneaky outings, completely understanding his need for remaining incognito, even helping him with a few simple disguises. The gold framed rapper sunglasses she'd found for him to wear had them both in hysterics for the whole of their trip to the diner. Chris so cursed his age - had he been a bit older he could have killed the dance floor at a club wearing those. 

 

Ashley was celebrating having been offered the part in Glee. She hadn't actually been in any episodes yet, but having found out she was a friend of Chris', Lea had insisted that she come to the party too. It would be a good opportunity for her to get to know everyone a bit better. 'Not that everyone would probably remember the evening in its entirety' Chris thought to himself with amusement. These Glee parties always followed the same loose format. Ryan would show up for the first hour or so, usually with a crate of some drink or other, and everything would be reasonably civilised. Then after he'd bid his 'farewell' and they'd all thanked him for coming, that's when the party really started.

 

Chris was actually quite fond of Ryan. He'd been quite young when he joined the show, and from the sidelines he knew Ryan had made sure he'd been okay, fully aware this was the first time Chris had really even been away from home. Ryan had a firm, but kind hand on the bunch of often unruly 'Glee' kids - he had to keep everything under control and the show on schedule after all - but Chris knew he'd often got away with being a little more stroppy than most of the others would have when he'd been a bit stressed and homesick. Nobody else knew about the hours he'd spent holed up, wrapped in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate in Ryan's office in the beginning when things had got too much.There were advantages to being the 'baby' of the cast. Chris made sure to arrive at the party and show his face before Ryan took his leave.

 

"How's everything going Chris?" Ryan asked as they both stood admiring the view from Lea's apartment. The LA skyline looked amazing from the top floor. 

 

"Fine, thanks," Chris nodded. "I feel like an old hand now there's a few new people starting on the show. It doesn't seem long ago it was me. But yeah, I think it's going well. Do you?"

 

"Definitely Chris.. We're all happy with the way things are going." Chris took swig of the beer he was holding to hide his smile. To hear Ryan was happy with him meant a lot.

 

"How're you getting on with Darren?" Ryan asked, looking carefully over at Chris as if he wanted to ask something else as well, although he didn't.

 

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Yeah, he's nice.. We're friends.. and," Chris paused, "I kind of feel like I've known him forever… That probably sounds weird…" He bit his lip in thought. "I guess he's just easy to be around."

 

"You know," Ryan looked around as if checking no one else was near to overhear what he was going to say, "I'm always here for you, but I think Darren would be the right person if you ever need to talk to someone and don't want to talk to me."

 

"Oh," Chris said, a little startled, "Oh, I'm fine. I don't need to talk to anyone. Thank you though." Chris wondered what had prompted this bit of conversation. He was capable of deciding who he wanted to go to if he did have any problems. He might approach Darren, but because he wanted to, not because someone else thought it would be a good idea.

 

Ryan knew Chris pretty well. "Don't be offended Chris. This is just between you and me, and I just thought .. he might be good for you. You know, rather than me who's old enough to be your dad.."

 

"Grandad you mean," Chris said cheekily. He'd had enough of this particular topic of conversation.

 

Ryan laughed loudly, slapping Chris on the shoulder. "Enjoy the party," he smiled, turning to move towards the rest of the party, wanting to catch up with everyone else before he left. Chris watched him go wondering if he gave everyone similar advice or whether it was just him.

 

******

 

Whilst Chris had planned to drink, he hadn't actually meant to get drunk. It started with a drink with Ashley, helping her integrate with her new work colleagues, although it had to be said she didn't really need much help. Everyone seemed to take to her straight away and in no time at all she was holding her own with the loud bunch of young adults and Chris slipped away to enjoy his drink by himself, back looking out of Lea's large apartment window, where he'd previously stood with Ryan. The LA skyline was now bathed in the glow of the setting sun and even if you weren't a 'city' person, you'd have to concede that the view looked pretty amazing.

 

He eventually went to refill his drink and was persuaded by Cory to try some of the bright coloured punch he'd made. Chris took a cautious sip from the large glass, detecting a rich fruity taste with an undertone of strong alcohol. The concoction was probably lethal, he deduced, but tasted nice anyway, grabbing a handful of chips on his way past in the vague hope they might absorb some of the alcoholic content of his glass. His glass was refilled liberally by a giggling Amber and Lea and at some point he was vaguely aware of Darren and Chord arriving as he stood enjoying the girls' gossip. When he looked up to survey the room some time later, he caught sight of Mia over the far side of the living room, chatting with a couple of the show's producers, Darren nowhere in sight. Chris was pretty sure she hadn't arrived with Darren and Chord, but come to think of it he didn't know when half the people in the now crowded room had arrived and his head was feeling too fuzzy to even try and work it out. 

 

He felt himself sway slightly as he carefully put his drink down and found his way to sit on one of Lea's large beanbag chairs, just until his current dizziness passed. He could hear the hum of the party as he sat waiting to feel a bit better, but it was just background noise and although he didn't think he fell asleep, his eyelids felt inexplicably heavy… Then there was a soft voice up close to him and a gentle hand on his cheek, "Chris? Are you okay Sweetie..?"

 

Chris managed to lift his droopy eyes to look up where the voice was coming from. He thought it was Mia crouching down in front of him, or it may be a dream… but he didn't think so… "Sweetie?" came the voice again, "Are you not feeling well?" He rested his head on his knees, slightly aware of a few more people milling about nearby, but too sleepy to really care.

 

"Dizzy," he managed to croak, unsure as to whether any sound was actually coming out of his mouth. Someone, probably Mia, ruffled his hair.

 

"I'll get Darren," she said kindly. "Hang on in there." Chris didn't think he was going to be going far, so no worries there, and as to why she was going to get Darren… Thinking just hurt his head. 

 

Strong arms surrounded him and he lifted his head to see Darren's smiling face. "Hey, boy wonder," he said quietly, brushing a stray lock of hair off of Chris' forehead. "Did no one ever tell you not to touch the punch at parties?"

 

Chris wanted to ask Darren why he was so smug, but instead groaned weakly, resting his head against Darren's shoulder. There were murmuring voices, someone talking to Darren and then Darren gathered him up with little effort considering he was actually smaller than Chris and carefully carried him up the stairs. He was still smiling. Bastard. "You're highly honoured…," warm breath floated past Chris' ear, "You're being allowed in Lea's guest room. Better not throw up, I'd say.." Darren laughed.

 

"Don't laugh at me.." Chris pouted as Darren helped him sit on the edge of the neatly made bed. 

 

Annoyingly Darren laughed again as he began pulling Chris' shoes off for him. "Come on Mr Grumpy, you'll feel better after you've had a little sleep." Chris made a feeble attempt to hit Darren on the shoulder. Why shouldn't he feel grumpy if Darren kept laughing at him. What did he expect?

 

"Hey!" Chris said indignantly as Darren encouraged him to lay down and began undoing the button on his jeans for him. "You've got a … girlfriend… hot …girlfriend"

 

"Hey," yourself Darren smiled. "I just thought you might be more comfortable with these things off. I hardly think you're in a state for a night of hanky panky… even if the opportunity presented itself… so I think you're safe with letting me help you."

 

"Hanky panky." Chris giggled, allowing Darren to take his jeans all the way off. "Hanky panky. Hanky panky." he couldn't stop his giggling. "What is that? Is it anything to do with 'spank' or 'wank'? Only I like spanky…" Chris gave a loud hiccup.

 

"I'll bear that in mind…" Darren said his lips smiling in amusement as he made a quick decision. "do you think you can make it to the bathroom? Maybe just to make sure you're not going to throw up in Lea's lovely bed.. and maybe have a pee. before you pass out…., I'll go downstairs and get you a drink of water and some medication…..while you're ..um…in there."

 

Darren was still wondering how much Chris was going to be able to do for himself, and whether he should leave him when Chris surprised him by leaping up off of the bed. As soon as Darren saw Chris starting to peel off his underwear, he hastily left the room. It wasn't that Darren minded, but if Chris remembered any of that tomorrow, he knew Chris would be mortified.

 

Thankfully when Darren returned to the bedroom, Chris was safely tucked up in bed. He'd been bombarded by people asking how Chris was when he'd gone to search out Lea to find where she kept her medicines, so by the time he made his way back upstairs it had all taken a little longer than he'd expected. He placed the medicine and water on the bedside drawers next to Chris as he appeared to be asleep, brushing a stray lock of hair away from his face fondly. He was going to feel terrible in the morning, Darren knew. He needed to just sleep it off.

 

Just as Darren reached the door to leave the room he heard a quiet voice. "Darren.."

 

"Hmm? You okay?"

 

"Thank you.. thank you for looking after me.."

 

"You're welcome."

 

*******


	3. Chapter 3

Chris did his best to avoid everyone at work when they were back on set on Monday. As soon as his scenes were over he rushed straight back to his trailer, far too embarrassed after he'd got so drunk at Lea's. God knows what everyone thought of his pathetic behaviour.

He blushed to his roots when he thought of Darren having to help him that night and while he was touched by how caring Darren had been with him, seriously, in what universe would Darren ever want someone as lame as him, even if he wasn't straight?

By the second afternoon Chris reluctantly let Ashley in his trailer on the pretence that she needed some help learning her lines. He suspected that everyone had sent her to see if Chris was okay, knowing he wouldn't have the heart to turn her away. To be honest he didn't really mind.

To her credit, Ashley didn't mention the party once, instead engaging him in small talk about nothing in particular. By the end of her visit she'd managed to persuade him to go and see a movie with her that night. Chris didn't protest too much when she'd asked because he knew he couldn't stop talking to everyone forever, and he really was just grateful she hadn't mentioned the party.

Darren on the other hand, wasn't so subtle when Chris found himself standing next to him waiting to go on set the next day. "Bet you had a headache the next morning," he quipped with his usual chirpiness. "I mean, Cory's punch was probably pretty lethal when you're not used to alcohol…"

Chris was seething. Did Darren think it was funny to bring that up when all Chris wanted to do was forget everything? It was bad enough that he had to come to work and face everyone in the first place. He was pretty sure there wasn't a single person on set who hadn't either seen or heard about his antics. Chris folded his arms angrily, his face stoney, staring straight ahead. Of course Darren hadn't noticed Chris' displeasure and continued to ramble on.

"Will you just stop treating me like a child," he hissed, turning to glare at Darren. "Maybe I wanted to get drunk."

Darren shifted uncomfortably. "Uh? Chris.. I…."

"Okay," Chris interrupted, still angry, tears of frustration filling his eyes, not realising he was shouting, "I appreciate that you took care of me, so thank you for that. But you don't know me and you don't have the right to judge me. I'm not a joke.. I'm a person, and if I want to get drunk it's up to me."

"I do know you…" Darren said quietly, completely unheard by Chris as he stormed onto set, ignoring all the faces that were staring at him and Darren, and oblivious to the fact that the room had gone completely quiet.

"In. my. office. now." came Ryan's loud voice from the sidelines. Chris looked up startled, realising quickly that the instruction was directed at him. 

"But.. I…" Chris stuttered, his face reddening. "I don't want…." Ryan's face told him not to argue the point any further and he sheepishly headed off towards Ryan's office to wait for him there.

********

The next morning when Chris arrived at his trailer there was a single can of diet coke on the top step, a shiny blue gift bow stuck to the top. Only Darren would have done that and Chris was touched as he knew he would probably have had to come in especially early to do it too. Chris had a few hours before he was expected at rehearsals today and he needed to work out how he was going to apologise to Darren and at least reassure him that he was just having a bad day yesterday.

Chris was saved the trouble when about an hour later there was a knock on his door. He was relieved to see it was Darren carrying two coffees and a brown paper bag, hopefully containing something edible, only Chris was suddenly starving. "Peace offering?" Darren smiled cautiously, holding up the bag. 

Chris opened the door wide enough to let Darren in. He still hadn't worked out what he wanted to say yet, apart from sorry but that would be a good starting point. He watched Darren take two chocolate chip cookies out of the bag, placing them on the table along with the coffees. Of course Darren would get his favourite cookies. Chris' stomach rumbled loudly.

"I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday," Darren said softly, enveloping Chris in one of his special style Darren Criss hugs; warm, reassuring and solid. "I'm just such a douche sometimes.. I hope you know I'd never do or say anything to intentionally hurt you."

Chris took in the wonderful smell of Darren as he breathed in, his face pressed into Darren's shirt. "I know that," he sighed, "of course I know that.." They separated, sitting down on the couch to have their coffees, "I didn't mean any of what I said, I've just been having a difficult week… and after my verbal spanking from Ryan yesterday.. well I'm sure you all heard, he was laying into me so loudly…"

"Look." Darren said, "I don't know what's happened lately, but I've missed you. I know we're friends… but before, well, we were really good friends.. That's what I miss. Do you think we could get that back? …please?"

Chris took a good long drink of his coffee. "I think… I thought … " Chris cleared his throat. "Okay… I miss it too, but I figured you have a girlfriend. You two probably want to spend time together.. do things together. " he paused, then whispered, "I thought you'd have better things to do." 

 

Darren picked at his cookie, "You've got it wrong. I mean, I can see why you'd think that, but.. you know how you sometimes hate how controlled your life is. Get fed up being told what you have to do?" Chris nodded as Darren looked up at him, not sure where this was going. "Well, sometimes it's the same for me too.. Don't get me wrong, I love my life…but… Well, things aren't always how they seem," Darren shrugged. "How about if I come over tonight if I bring pizza.. and diet coke?" His eyes were wide and pleading, as he asked. "Maybe we can talk a bit more."

 

"Oh. Yeah.. sure." It probably wasn't the best idea, but Chris wasn't about to turn Darren down. Perhaps a talk would be good. Chris had been so centred on himself lately that he hadn't even considered that Darren's life may have parallels to his own. He really was a bad friend. He was going to change that though, starting from today. "Oh thanks for the diet coke this morning by the way… only you would think of doing something like that…" Chris smiled. "... and sure you can come over. We can watch a movie. We'll have a good time…. I mean you can even stay over if you want."

 

"Great! Thanks Chris! Oh.. and by the way I'm really glad we're all okay….." Chris momentarily saw a twinkle in Darren's eye, ".. only I've heard a rumour about our next set of scripts. Kurt and Blaine are going to have their first kiss." No shit!

 

When Darren left thirty minutes later, grinning and pulling kissy faces at Chris, Chris realised that he'd probably made a mistake that he may well regret in agreeing to spend the evening with Darren (had he really offered a sleepover?), but in truth, he was powerless to refuse Darren anything. However, if he wanted to get his friendship with Darren back to anything like it was before he was going to have to learn to deal with his feelings and behave like the adult he was. He'd spent years longing for friends like he had now and he really didn't want to do anything stupid to jeopardise that.

 

Chris reached in his fridge for a diet coke, deftly popping the can open with experienced fingers. As the first drop of liquid hit his mouth, his stomach flipped as he remembered what Darren had said about 'the kiss' Kurt and Blaine were going to share. He gulped down the mouthful of drink, wondering how the hell he was going to survive.

 

*********

 

Later, back at his apartment, Chris felt like he'd pretty much covered every emotion possible in the couple of hours since he'd been home. On a regular day he'd probably come home from work and chill out for a bit, maybe do some writing or catch up with some emails. Today he'd basically come home and had a mini freak out, there was no other word for it. Pacing the apartment, hands frantically running through his hair, his heart thumping against the wall of his chest. How, just how, was he going to cope with having to kiss Darren? Somehow the crush he thought he had under control had rekindled itself with a little bit of extra kindness and attention from the man and Chris felt weary with the effort of trying to ignore it, and he knew that he wasn't ready to deal with a kiss, on screen, or not.

Eventually he calmed down. He reminded himself that he was a professional. A respected actor…. and actors had to overcome difficult situations all the time, didn't they? He had to be professional about this. He knew from experience that any scene like this wouldn't just be one kiss. There would be at least twenty takes and in-between there'd be adjustments, tweaking, having to stay in certain positions so lighting could be considered… they were probably talking about at least a couple of hours. He didn't know how he would survive, but he absolutely could not afford to make a fool of himself over this.

After taking a shower, Chris began to worry. Darren had probably had loads of practice at kissing and there was no doubt Chris would look every inch the complete amateur that he was. Chris almost laughed to himself at that last thought. 'Every inch'. Yes. Even imagining Darren's lips touching him had him growing hard in his snug underwear and acting or not, he was sure that when Darren's lips touched him for real he would be revealing a few obvious inches in those form fitting 'Dalton' pants. 

 

Chris knew Darren had done plenty of college productions, and on top of that some television work as well. While he didn't know which of those would have involved any kissing scenes, he was pretty sure Darren, the alpha male, would have been picked for some romantic parts with intimate moments, all as well as having had lots of experience in real life too. Chris' own experience amounted to, well, nothing really. A stint playing Kurt in The Sound of Music (hardly a romantic part), and a couple of dates with another boy from his hometown drama club. Two clumsy kisses, that was the sum total of his experience.

 

Darren, who had an amazing girlfriend and plenty of other girls queuing up to take her place, would be arriving soon at Chris' apartment with the promised pizza and soda and he needed to pull himself together - try not to over think this whole thing. He loved Darren's company and he needed to shake off any romantic thoughts he had towards the other man and just be a guy who was having his good friend over to watch a movie…. and probably have a sleepover Chris thought shakily - did straight guys usually have sleepovers? 

 

He tried to get rid of the slight irritation he could feel prickling under his skin as to why he was even in this position, why he was probably the only person in a hundred mile radius who had never been in a proper relationship, shared a one night stand or even just shared a drunken kiss with someone at a party. Everyone else managed to flit from relationship to relationship without it being a big deal, or so it appeared, and there was he, like a delicate flower, too precious to be made a move upon and too scared to express an even remote interest in anyone else in case it should be deemed inappropriate.

 

There was a loud knock on the door, making him jump out of his skin, even though he was expecting it. Despite wanting to give off a cool, calm persona, what with all the thoughts that had been swishing round in his head and having been startled by the knock on the door, by the time Chris went to let Darren in, his face was a hot flushed mess. Darren, haphazardly balancing a giant pizza box and a pack of diet cokes, his overnight bag slung over his shoulder, took one look at Chris before depositing everything he was carrying directly onto the floor. 

"Oh Chris! What's wrong baby?" Darren asked as he came into the hallway, looking at Chris, a little more worriedly than necessary. Chris' stomach lurched at Darren calling him 'baby', not able to dwell on it for too long before being pulled into a tight hug. Chris allowed himself the indulgence of resting his head on Darren's shoulder, his hot breath on Darren's neck as a soothing hand was run over the back of his neck. 

Chris reluctantly pulled away. This wouldn't help anything. "Hey! Mind you don't mess up my hair," he pouted, light heartedly, "I have an image to keep up here.."

"Sorry," Darren chuckled, "but seriously are you alright?... you look a bit.. well as if something's wrong."

Chris tried to sound nonchalant. "Oh God. I'm fine. Just fell asleep by mistake, meaning I've had to rush around to get a few things done… But I appreciate your concern.." Chris gave a small smirk in Darren's direction. He didn't like lying, but in this instance he thought he had good reason, besides what explanation would he give anyway?   
Darren gave him a brief look which told Chris he probably didn't quite believe him, but he knew Darren wouldn't push him if he didn't want to talk about it. "Okay.. I was just worried there for a minute.. but if you're giving me sassy comments, you're obviously fine.," he smiled.

 

They settled on the couch watching their guilty pleasure, "The Little Mermaid" - just for the songs of course, not at all for the romantic storyline. After all, they were two grown men. They'd watched the film so many times they could dip in and out of it, chatting in between, growing silent when a favourite bit came on. Chris had been so excited when he'd found out Darren wasn't embarrassed to admit he was a fan of all things Disney, often performing his own arrangements of Disney songs in public, and in the past had put them on YouTube. After Chris had found this out a week into their friendship, he'd gone straight home and watched them all. If he hadn't already been in love with Darren, Chris would have definitely fallen in love with him after that.

 

"So…" Chris said, trying to sound casual, "I suppose you've done quite a bit of this on screen or on stage kissing thing before?"   
Darren stopped hunting through Chris' shelf of dvds where he was looking for the next movie they were going to watch, turning round to look at Chris. He couldn't quite face asking Darren the question while they were face to face, even though it had been burning in his mind for most of the evening.

Darren looked carefully at Chris, silent for a few seconds before saying anything. "Not so much… " he gave a wry smile. "Not that it matters anyway."

"You would say that," Chris huffed. Suddenly he wasn't really sure why he'd felt the need to bring up the topic.

"Look Chris.." Darren turned round to fully face Chris, sitting cross-legged on the floor. "I know what you're thinking…"

"You do?" Chris raised his eyebrows.

"Of course I do," Darren said softly, "but just hear me out okay?" Chris nodded. "I know you're worried about your inexperience.. but if you think about it, you'll be perfect. It'll be perfect. The kiss is supposed to be Kurt's first, he's not going to be an expert or anything.. and that's why I was going to suggest before, that we don't even rehearse that part so that it just looks natural. I know you'll be great, you're such a good actor…"

"Um, thanks.. I think," Chris blushed. "I guess you're right. I hadn't really thought it through beyond blind panic."

Darren smiled, shuffling closer to Chris. "Also… " he said quietly, "it'll also be 'our' first kiss.." he gestured between the both of them, his cheeks turning a little pink. "I think we're going to kill it.."

Chris wondered when it had suddenly become so hot in the room.

******

Chris shuffled off to his trailer as soon as filming had finished, just wanting to be alone for a while. He hoped that no one had seen him slip away because he had no plans on opening the door to anyone right now. In fact if that person happened to be Darren, Chris would probably have to fight off the urge to drag him inside and finish off what they'd been doing on set.

He had known the kissing scene would be intense for him, but he'd underestimated just how intense. Chris stripped off his costume, feeling too hot and restrained in the formal Dalton uniform, sighing in relief as cool air hit his bare skin. His erection had died down somewhat from what it had been for the last hour on set, the big wet patch in his briefs testament to how hard he had been. Darren's sweet, soft lips moving against his own had been almost more than he could bear and it had taken every fibre of his body to stop himself from moaning during some of the later takes. The take where Darren had introduced his tongue into the kiss had almost had him thrusting his hips in response. 

Now that it was all over, Chris was exhausted. Acting could be quite tiring anyway when scenes were long and intense, but this was a whole new level. To make matters worse, an extraordinarily large number of cast and crew had decided to come and watch, putting extra pressure on them to not mess up and by the end, although everyone was waxing lyrical about how well the scene had gone, Chris had just needed to escape.

Despite feeling tired, Chris was buzzing. There was no way he could relax enough to even sit down, let alone sleep. All he could see before he'd fled from the set was Darren's flushed face, looking completely and utterly debauched. He'd looked gorgeous. Chris slipped a hand down inside his underwear with a resigned sigh. As a child he'd always been torn between the idea of being a performer or being a writer and at the moment he was lucky enough to be doing both, but seriously, for the first time ever he thought that maybe he wasn't cut out for this.

From the moment Darren's lips had first touched his, the kiss was everything Chris had known it would be. It didn't matter whether it was being filmed or not, the touch was still electrifying. Darren was sweetly considerate, constantly asking Chris if he was okay in quiet whispers between takes, and Chris could only imagine what a beautiful, considerate lover he would be. Chris flung himself backwards, sprawling on to the couch, frantically shoving his underwear down around his thighs. He should feel guilty about this he thought to himself as he grasped his cock tightly in his fist, but he needed it. Badly.

He virtually sobbed as he came after a few fast strokes of his hand, white streaks decorating the curve of his stomach. He lay back, panting heavily, vaguely aware of his phone buzzing somewhere in the background. After a few moments he thought he'd better do something about the phone before someone really did come knocking at his door.

There was a text from Darren. Of course there was.

Can I come over? - (Darren)

Chris quickly grabbed a handful of tissues to wipe his stomach. 

No. - (Chris)

Panic set in. He hoped Darren wasn't already on his way over.

? - (Darren)

You know what 'no' means Darren - (Chris)

Are you hiding from me? - (Darren)

No… Maybe. Not specifically from you - (Chris)

I thought I meant more to you… seeing that we just shared our first kiss and all. The least you can do is let me take you to dinner. - (Darren)

Chris smiled.

I wasn't sure of your intentions - now that you've had your wicked way with me! - (Chris)

I'm a gentleman, Chris. Be ready in an hour. We're going Thai - (Darren) 

He could do this. He had an hour to get himself together, and an evening with Darren was probably a lot better than going home by himself.

********


	4. Chapter 4

Chris was completely and utterly blaming Lea for this. Darren had been invited to perform at a prestigious event in New York and Lea had persuaded him to invite herself, along with Cory and Chris. It was a glorified birthday party for a New York rich businessman who had seen Darren at a charity dinner he'd performed at several months ago and had fallen in love with his style of performing as well as his playful banter and was more than happy for him to bring a few of his own guests. To top it all, Darren had been provided with a huge suite at the hotel where the party was being held, big enough for them all to sleep comfortably.

 

Chris arrived at the hotel suite with Lea and Cory. Darren had had to fly in earlier in the day to prepare how the evening was going to go and they were all due to meet up later before the party. They all put their bags on the floor of the room, staring in awe at the size and luxurious decor of the suite. Cory dived onto the massive couch, remarking on the size of the television screen which was more like something you'd have in a small cinema. He settled in to find some sport to watch.

 

Chris and Lea went on to explore the rest of the suite, Lea whooping with delight at the queen size bed in one of the two massive bedrooms contained within the suite. "I'm going to so enjoy sleeping in this tonight," she sing songed, spreading her arms as she eyed the silky bed linen and the mounds of cushions on the bed.

 

"Uh," Chris uttered, realising a small problem. He peeped into the room next to Lea's chosen bedroom, and as he thought there was another virtually identical bedroom. Darren's bags, obviously placed in haste, beside the right side of the bed. His mind ticked over. Would he sleep on the couch? Or.. he gulped..share this bed with Darren? He hadn't thought this whole wild trip to New York through properly.

 

"I'd love to say you can share with me…" Lea said appearing by his side., making him wonder if he'd spoken his thoughts out loud, "But I'm not sure Cory will want to share with Darren…" Chris knew Lea was teasing slightly, but couldn't help his face reddening as he wondered what sort of sleeping arrangements Darren had in mind. To be honest, Darren probably hadn't even thought about it. He was so much a spur of the moment type guy, going with the flow… Sometimes Chris just wanted to punch him with how laid back he was about everything.

 

"Anyway," Lea continued, "it's not like you two don't have sleepovers at your place, Darren's told me. He loves sleeping over at your apartment, so I can't see the problem here," she gestured her arm wildly towards the equally luxurious bed. "Not to mention the fact that this bed is probably big enough to sleep six people. You'll hardly be on top of each other. She was right of course, they did have sleepovers, but somehow a bed in a hotel room seemed a little more formal, planned…

 

"Okay, okay.." Chris sighed, hating how his face had reddened even more, "I get it.. I just hope Darren realises…. but I suppose I could take the couch if.." he tailed off. He ignored Lea's smile and the look she gave him which he couldn't quite place, already embarrassed enough. She'd be sure to say something about it to Darren at the first opportunity knowing how much she loved to meddle.

 

"Right. What are the plans?" Chris asked, desperate to get away from all this bedroom talk. Besides, he'd left all the arrangements for this trip to Lea, so he had no idea what was going on.

 

Lea looked at her watch. "Yes, we've a couple of hours to get ready. Darren's going to be coming up to change at some point, then I think we're going to get a drink at the bar.. I know there's some press photos or something before the party starts.. and," she hesitated slightly, "Mia is coming for that, although she's not staying for the party.."

 

"Really?" Chris asked incredulously. "She's not staying? Doesn't Darren mind?"

 

"Nope," Lea answered, Looking at a message which had just popped up on her phone. She glanced up at Chris. "I think one of her friends is having a house party, or dinner or something. Plus there's no need for her to stay. There's no press at the actual party so…" Lea tailed off as she typed a reply. 

 

Chris frowned, mumbling, "Why do I feel like I'm part of the Truman Show or something? There's something weird going on, but I can't quite work it out.."

 

Lea glanced at him, picking up her bag to head into the bedroom. "You're an intelligent boy, Chris. Come on now.." The door closed behind her.

 

Great. That really cleared everything up.

 

******

 

Chris was bursting with pride when Darren came to join them at their table later that night. He knew he could perform; he'd seen him before, but this was something else. For almost three hours he'd entertained everyone, acting as compere, singing with guitar and piano, performing songs to suit every age group with banter in-between. There'd been comedy, serious stuff, heart warming sincerity and Chris had to admit that he'd probably been horrible company to sit with tonight as from the moment Darren had started, Chris couldn't take his eyes off him.

 

"Darren.." Chris breathed, as Darren came and sat down next to him, a little hot and sweaty, but smiley as ever. "You were so good. So good…"

 

Darren didn't have a chance to respond as just at that moment a fresh round of drinks was brought to their table and then Lea began talking about one of Darren's own compositions he'd sung during his set. Attentively talking to Lea, he squeezed Chris' hand which was laying on his thigh beneath the table, leaving it there as he spoke., only removing it when he had to stand and shake hands with a few people who came over to congratulate him on his performance. Always the perfect gentleman, despite the fact that he was probably exhausted.

 

The lights were dimmed in the room as a disco started up and a few brave souls made it onto the dance floor. Chris swivelled round slightly in his chair to watch the more inebriated guests entertain everyone with a few choice dance moves. Darren joined him a few minutes later, looping his arm round Chris' shoulder and resting his chin lightly on Chris' shoulder. "Sorry about that," he said softly, so close to Chris' ear that he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, "but I'm glad you enjoyed it.."

 

"Please tell me you'll be available for my birthday party," Chris smiled, twisting back round to look at Darren. "You're really good at all that," He waved his arm in the direction of the stage where Darren had been entertaining a short time before. "I don't know how you do it."

 

"I'm probably weird…. but I do actually love it," Darren chuckled. "I make loads of mistakes and fumble my way through… but somehow I get away with it.."

 

"Well you had me fooled.." Chris deadpanned. "I won't tell a soul," he added conspiratorially.

 

********

 

It seemed Darren had no qualms about sharing a bed with his gay friend and co-star. He'd batted Chris off with an incredulous look when he asked if he should sleep on the couch. They'd all sat around chatting in the lounge area of their suite when they first got back, ordering hot chocolates from room service in a final act of decadence, and it seemed like no time at all before Chris was dressed in his pyjamas and was shakily climbing into bed next to Darren. It was true they had shared a bed together before, but that was before Chris had known what it was like to kiss Darren's sweet sweet mouth. Now he knew, it wasn't something he was going to forget in a hurry.

 

"Do you want to just talk?" Darren rolled over on his side to face Chris, "Or we can watch a movie or find something else to watch?" 

 

"Um. I don't know. Maybe both? Seems a shame not to take advantage of all the free channels we've got." Chris lay so his body mirrored Darren's, a big empty space of bed between them. "You know, just put something on and we can talk at the same time. We'll probably fall asleep anyway." Chris grabbed the remote control, flicking through to the movie selection, passing it back to Darren to pick something. "You choose. After all it's me who's invaded your hotel room… your bed.." Chris couldn't help his cheeks reddening. 

 

"Think we need, "How to Train Your Dragon," Darren murmured, scrolling through the DreamWorks titles. Once he'd selected it, he turned back to face Chris. "Now." he began, "You feel an awful long way away. Is it too creepy for me to suggest that we move a little closer together?"

 

Chris desperately wished he could stop himself blushing. "No." he said, No, it wouldn't… be creepy." He shuffled a bit closer to Darren, as Darren moved in towards him. They weren't touching, but Chris could have quite easily reached out and traced a finger over Darren's soft lips if he had wanted to. Of course he wanted to, but he couldn't. The same as he couldn't forget what it felt like for Darren's lips to touch his own. He sighed softly looking at the television screen. Suddenly trivial, meaningless conversation seemed a bit pointless, but he was going to have to try.

 

Darren began telling Chris about his life in college. Some of his crazy, wild adventures - none of which were a surprise to Chris as even now, Darren was always where the action was; a finger in every pie, so to speak. Then the conversation moved on to Chris' time in high school, when things weren't quite so happy as Darren's time in school and college. They'd touched on these areas of their lives before, but a small amount of alcohol during the evening had left Chris feeling a little melancholy and he couldn't help the stupid, big fat tears that slid down his face as he recounted one particular tale. He hadn't intended for things to get this intense. He'd only ever cried once before in front of Darren, and that was when his sister was taken into hospital one time… and he'd had no plans to to repeat that performance under any circumstances.

 

He found himself pulled in for a hug… his head resting on Darren's t-shirted chest, a warm hand rubbing comforting circles over his back. "You're happy now though right?" Darren asked gruffly.

 

Chris nodded. "Yeah, I am. I mean I don't think my life will ever be as straightforward and easy as other peoples' seem to be, but I'm definitely happy."

 

"What d'you mean?" Darren asked. "Why can't you have what other people have?"

 

Chris shrugged. "I don't know really… it's just being famous and young I guess. I feel like I have to be careful. It's not like I'd be able to go and pick someone up at a bar… Maybe when I'm a bit older."

 

"Is that what you'd want anyway?" Darren ran his fingers gently through Chris' hair. "You don't strike me as someone who'd want to meet someone that way.."

 

Chris huffed a small laugh, moving away from Darren's hold. He loved it, of course, but this wasn't helping his unrequited crush. "No. It's far from what I'd want.. but maybe we can't always have what we want…" 

 

"You think that," Darren smiled, their bodies still close but no longer touching. "But you deserve only the very best. I know that one day you'll meet someone who'll be perfect for you.." Oh the irony.

 

"How about you?" Chris asked. "Are you disappointed.. um.. you know… that Mia couldn't come tonight?"

 

Darren shrugged. "It was only pure coincidence she was in New York at all. I didn't know what her plans were, but my agent just told me yesterday.. and arranged for her to come for the media call.."

 

"Couldn't you have got her an invite then, or was it too late?" Chris suddenly felt guilty that maybe he should have offered Mia his place at the party.

 

Darren shrugged again, sighing. "It really didn't come up. I think she was here for a specific reason, so I doubt she'd have changed her plans even if I could have invited her. I don't even know what she was doing last night…."

 

Oh?

 

*******

 

Chris had spent so long trying to keep his feelings for Darren under wraps, which in itself was pretty exhausting, that he was shocked to his core when he was asked out on a date by one of the production assistants on Glee. Whilst Chris was pretty friendly with everyone involved in the programme, it just hadn't occurred to him that anyone might like him in that way. He'd been so used to feeling like he was untouchable, both figuratively and physically that it was genuinely a surprise. It was only dinner at the local cafe bar after work the next day, but relationships had to start somewhere. 

 

Ben was just a couple of years older than Chris and although he had never considered him romantically before (not even realising he was gay), he was sure that once he got to know him a little better, it was a possibility. 

 

The first few dates went well. There's been dinner, movies, coffee dates and even just romantic walks and they'd moved on to kissing each time they got together. 

 

To his relief, Chris found that he and Ben got on really well, and he looked forward to spending time with him. Everyone commented what a good looking couple they made. Chris' lean physique, complemented by Ben's blonde hair and chiseled features. He looked nothing like Darren.. And he definitely wasn't Darren - and there lay the problem.

 

Darren, ever the gentleman, was giving Chris his space... Giving him time to develop his new relationship. No more dropping by his trailer unannounced, the silly texts had virtually disappeared... And Chris missed Darren like crazy. 

 

When Chris ended the relationship Ben hadn't really seemed that surprised. They'd probably remain friends... After all they hadn't really moved on from the kissing stage of things despite ample opportunity and they actually did get on quite well. Chris was sure his love of Darren wasn't actually the secret he'd like it to be, despite trying to keep it hidden. His acting skills probably weren't good enough to hide it from the people who knew him best and he was sure Ben probably knew about his feelings, even if he didn't know the extent of them.

 

Darren came and found him while he was having coffee the next day. Chris wasn't particularly upset, but he felt like keeping to himself, trying not to lament over the fact that he was probably ruined from ever having a relationship. "What happened?" Darren asked, flipping down the magazine Chris was hiding behind.

 

Chris looked up at him, feeling slightly annoyed at the intrusion. If he'd wanted to talk, he'd have gone and sat with everyone else. "Nothing happened." He righted his magazine, giving up trying to read.

 

"But I thought things were going well." Darren stood with his hands on his hips. Obviously he wasn't going to give up. 

 

"Darren... No offence or anything, but what would you know? I've hardly seen you these last few weeks...." Tears pricked his eyes, but he was determined not to let them fall... Not again. 

 

"I'm sorry..." Darren had the courtesy to at least look a little sheepish.

 

"What are you sorry for? My relationship failing? If being in a relationship means that you won't talk to me anymore, maybe that isn't what I want either."

 

"You did kind of do the same to me.." Darren said quietly, sitting down next to Chris. "I mean, I understand why.."

 

Chris was silent for a few moments. "I did, didn't I? I'm sorry too." He looked up at Darren's face and even from that he could see that Darren really cared. "I just knew Ben and I weren't going anywhere.. I like him. But that's not enough.. Not when I love..." Chris stopped himself from going any further. "Sometimes what you want, just isn't possible."

 

It was Darren's turn to look thoughtful. He rubbed his hands tiredly over his face, sighing deeply. "Perhaps with a few compromises..." He said quietly. Chris wasn't sure if he was talking to himself or even what Darren was talking about. 

 

"I can hear you thinking," Chris said, having watched Darren stare straight ahead for a few minutes. 

 

Darren gave a wry smile. "I've had enough," he said determinedly, "I..." Darren got out his phone, standing as he did so. "Can you meet me back in your trailer later? ..please..? I've a few things to sort out."

 

"Sure..." Chris said, watching Darren head off towards Ryan's office, slightly curious as to what was going on.

 

**********


	5. Chapter 5

Chris stared at the door of Ryan's office, wondering what on earth had just happened? After a considerable time when Darren didn't reappear, he thought he'd better just… do something. He wandered over to where Lea was chatting with Ashley and Mark. 

 

"Hey", Chris said, standing awkwardly beside their little huddle. He didn't really know what he'd come over to say. He didn't suppose they would know what was going on with Darren… although Lea talked to Darren a lot, so maybe...

 

They all looked up at him as spoke. "Where's Darren gone?" Ashley asked as Lea pulled him down into the seat next to her.

 

Chris shrugged. "I don't know… well, I know he's gone to see Ryan… he kind of had a bit of a moment and then rushed off. He just said he'd meet me later… but I don't know how long he'll be."

 

"Ooh," Lea clapped her hands together, bouncing slightly on her seat, "how exciting!"

 

"Really?" Chris raised his eyebrows. "So you know what's happening then I take it?"

 

"My sweet little innocent one," Lea smiled, squeezing Chris' hand a little too enthusiastically. "I don't know anything… but I can guess."

 

"And you're obviously not going to tell me… Oh wait a minute.. has he split up with Mia? I haven't seen her around lately … although… oh never mind." He'd been a bit out of touch with Darren these last few weeks while he'd been seeing Ben, so he'd no idea what was going on to be honest.

 

Lea gave one of her annoying, knowing smiles before getting up out of her seat. "Oh well," she sighed, "I think I'm due in make-up. Cory and I have a scene." With that, she was gone.

 

Chris decided to head back to his trailer. Maybe he could do some writing, although that never went that well when his head was full of Darren. It was hard when the man who was everything he wanted in a boyfriend, who was incredibly thoughtful and sweet to him was never going to be able to like him in that way. The trouble was that whenever Chris thought he'd reached acceptance over the fact, Darren would do or say something that would send Chris right back to square one…. whether it be snuggles watching a movie to a simple word or touch.

 

******

 

Somehow, writing turned into Chris creepily searching the internet for photos of Darren. He never normally did this, although this no way excused his behaviour in doing it. Darren had admitted to googling pictures of everyone just before he was due to start the show, which was absolutely not the same thing, but it did make his guilty mind feel a little better. Chris usually avoided looking online at anything to do with Glee, always a little scared of what he may inadvertently find. 

 

There were various shots of Darren arriving and/or leaving a selection of venues and airports, and then there were poses of him and Mia at publicity events… both of them looking good, dressed to the nines. As his disobedient fingers scrolled through the reams of pictures, Chris realised there were no actual unauthorised shots of Darren and Mia together. Not that Chris approved of such methods, but you would have thought someone would have caught them somewhere. Suddenly a little disgusted with himself, Chris changed his website to Amazon to look for a book for his sister's birthday. What was he doing?

 

Chris was shaken from his browsing by a discreet knock at his trailer door, quickly snapping closed his laptop. He thought it surely must be Darren, even though it wasn't really a Darren style knock - not his usual enthusiastic rapping. Still feeling a little guilty for his internet stalking he'd been doing, he got up to answer the door. Thankfully it was Darren, bizarrely standing on the step holding an artificial flower which looked suspiciously like one of the dusty flowers they had in a vase in the rest area in the studios. Chris looked from the flower to Darren's slightly flushed, smiling face, opening the door wide to let him come in.

 

"Everything okay Darren?" Chris asked, smiling warily as he looked again at the uninspiring flower.

 

"Yes… All fine. Sort of…" Darren stepped inside, passing over the flower with a slight flourish.

 

"Why thank you kind sir," Chris grinned, "How thoughtful? You shouldn't have….." he pretended to smell the flower. "Now tell me what's going on."

 

Darren cleared his throat. "Right. I will explain. But first….." He reached out and took Chris' hand… "Chris Colfer… My best friend.. Will you do me the honour of going out on a date with me?"

 

"Um. A date?" Chris hoped his face didn't look as shocked as he felt. "A date.. as in a date?" 

 

Darren nodded silently, trying to gage Chris' reaction. "Maybe dinner somewhere.. tonight… or anywhere or anything. Out on a date.. with me." Darren voice grew quieter and a little more unsure as he spoke.

 

Chris was sure his heart was about to beat out of his chest. He looked up at Darren's nervous face, realising he was waiting. "Yes. Um… okay. yes." he said breathily, "I have lots of questions, but I'd love to go on a date with you. I'd really love to…"

 

Chris sat down on the couch, his legs suddenly feeling like they were going to give way. He looked down at his hands, only to realise he was still holding the faded flower. The sight made him giggle - only Darren would think of doing something like that. He knew Chris so well, how he loved romantic gestures, and it didn't matter one bit what the flower was like, it was just the fact that he thought of it. Darren held out a can of diet coke to him, plopping down to join him on the couch. Yet another reason Darren was perfect, knowing what he needed without a second thought.

 

Darren fiddled with his own unopened drink, cradling it in his hand. "Chris," he said gently, "I think when I started this job I was a little bit naive. You know how it is. You're just so grateful you've been given a chance to do something you love that you kind of don't think you can say 'no' to the people who are giving you the chance…"

 

Chris nodded in agreement, laying a hand over Darren's. "I know. I was still wet behind the ears when I started here. I really do understand."

 

Darren carried on. "It was all about how I was going to be in a relationship in the show and how interested the media would be in my own personal life, my own relationships…." There was a light tap on the trailer door. "Um.. that's probably Mia," Darren smiled. "I hope that's okay? I asked her to come over."

 

"Sure," Chris said getting up to let her in. Nothing would shock him now after Darren turning up and asking him out on a date. Mia turning up at his trailer was pretty underwhelming compared to that even though, previously, it would have felt like quite a big deal. 

 

"Hi Sweetie," Mia smiled, kissing Chris on the cheek as she entered. "Thanks for having me…. I'm really excited to see inside Chris Colfer's trailer.."

 

Chris raised his eyebrows. "You're welcome… but it's really not that exciting… my trailer. But have a seat." He gestured to where he'd been sitting on the couch. "Would you like a drink?"

 

She shook her head, 'no', before moving over to the couch, giving Darren a brief hug before she sat down. "I'm fine Sweetie. Just had a coffee with Ryan…" Chris didn't miss the sympathetic glance she gave Darren.

 

"Have my seat Chris," Darren said going to get up.

 

"It's fine.." Chris shook his head. He sat on the small coffee table facing Darren and Mia. "I've always wondered if this was strong enough to sit on. I guess I'll find out. If it's not, I'm definitely swapping with yours.."

 

"Deal." Darren chuckled, although I'm sure it'll be okay.. I've actually stood on mine."

 

Chris laughed, rolling his eyes. "Why aren't I surprised?"

 

"Um… anyway, back to what I was saying," Darren continued, reaching out to briefly touch Mia's hand. "Mia and I have known each other for a long time. Since college... And when it was quite firmly put that it would be better if I seemed to be in a heterosexual relationship... Better for me. Better for the show.."

 

"Nobody actually forced us," Mia added, "but we both have the same management and stupidly we wanted to please everyone.. And I was so happy for Darren, getting his dream job.."

 

A sudden clarity spread over Chris. He had been an idiot. "Oh my god." Chris whispered, "everyone else knew didn't they? Oh my god.. I must look so stupid.."

 

"No." Darren said firmly, grasping one of Chris' hands between both of his own. "Really, no. We honestly didn't tell anyone.. But people just worked it out... But you and I, I think we were too close for you to see it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you.."

 

Chris swallowed heavily. In truth he was a little hurt, but it wasn't really anyone's fault.

 

"It seemed so simple in the beginning…" Darren said quietly, "but I think Mia and I have both learnt a lesson from this… and it certainly didn't take account of me falling in love with you…."

 

Chris blushed, "Um.. I think Lea did try to kind of tell me, or at least hint.. a couple of times. And then, at Lea's party," Chris turned to Mia, "you sent for Darren to come and look after me… I did wonder about that… obviously I wasn't in much of a state to think too much about it at the time.."

 

"Anyway," Darren said.. "I've spoken to Ryan and he knows we don't want to keep up this charade anymore." Mia nodded in agreement. "There's not going to be a big public announcement or anything, but he's just agreed that while I don't have to keep anything secret, it might be better for us not to go out of our way to court publicity…for now…. is that okay with you Chris? I mean I don't want to sound presumptuous… hoping you feel the same way…"

 

Chris nodded mutely, rooted to his seat. There really wasn't any question of him not feeling the same way as Darren. He was so in love with him it hurt sometimes.

 

"Well, I'll leave you two to it," Mia stood hugging them both. Chris felt quite emotional at the tight hug Darren gave her in return, and the quietly spoken, 'thanks honey,' he said close to her ear. He could tell this whole situation had affected them both a lot.

 

Then it was just the two of them. "I guess I've got a date to get ready for," Chris stood, smoothing his hands over his wrinkled shirt, trying to act calmly even though insides were churning.

 

"Me too," Darren grinned. "I'll be round at seven… to pick you up.."

 

*******

 

Chris had quite a lot of time to think once he got back to his apartment.. and all he could think of was how much time he and Darren had wasted. They'd definitely got to know each other already so they didn't need to explore that part of the relationship first. The pent up feelings and emotions Chris had been pushing down all these months were suddenly bubbling to the surface, like a volcano threatening to explode..

 

They'd been on so many non- dates in the time they'd known each other.. Chris often fantasising they were real dates.. so he changed his clothes and did his hair, but he didn't over do it. It was too late to dress to impress really - Darren had already seen him in all sorts of disarray as well as a few embarrassing situations.. and well, he was still here wasn't he?

 

Darren knocked on the door at seven o'clock on the dot. He looked pretty stunning in well fitting pants and a simple shirt and tie, and was holding, this time, a single red rose. A real live flower. "Hmmm," Chris smiled when he had the door open, "Like the tie.." He grabbed the tie with one hand, pulling Darren into the hallway, slamming the door closed behind them both. He leaned down, enveloping Darren's mouth with his own, moving his lips softly over Darren's.

 

To his credit, Darren recovered pretty quickly from being unceremoniously dragged into Chris' apartment, somehow putting down the rose on the hall table and cupping Chris' face with both his hands in one seamless movement. As soon as Darren began returning the kiss, Chris gave a little whine of desperation, thrusting his tongue into Darren's mouth, begging for more, Darren happy to give him what he was asking for. 

 

They eventually pulled apart, breathing heavily, foreheads resting against each other. "Wow," Darren smiled, his voice low and gravelly, "That was a nice welcome. Unexpected but a very, very nice welcome."

 

Chris, already dizzy with arousal from kissing Darren, felt his cock twitching at the sound Darren's sexy post kissing voice. Oh god.. he really needed to cool down a bit, or that's what the logical part of his mind thought. His mouth however had other ideas… "Can we… " he said breathily, "can we stay in for our date tonight?" He couldn't control how high his voice was sounding. "Please, Darren. Please… we've done all the dating stuff.. dinners, movies, coffees, walks…all the getting to know each other talks… so..." He tailed off, blushing profusely having not meant to blurt out exactly what he was thinking. He'd meant to sound mature about the whole thing, instead was sounding like a petulant child.

 

Darren didn't seem to care. Having looked Chris carefully in the eyes for a few moments, he pulled him in close, rubbing calming circles on his back. "Staying in is good" He said softly, soothingly. "And when you ask so nicely….." He couldn't hide the small smile in his voice.

 

"Stop teasing me…" Chris groaned. "You make me forget how to sound like the sophisticated person that I usually am… "

 

"Come on," Darren said, leading Chris over to the couch, "We're still the same two people as we were before I asked you out on a date…. which also means I'm still hungry all the time.. so what shall we eat. I assume we're ordering in as we're staying in for the evening. Unless you've been cooking up some culinary masterpiece after you got home from work."

 

"Chinese," Chris said, ignoring Darren's last remark. "You order while I go and find a bottle of wine. You know what I like."

 

*******

 

After they'd eaten, they snuggled together on the couch, comfortably relaxed from the alcohol. Darren leaned in to give Chris a chaste kiss on the lips, wrapping his arm a little tighter around Chris' shoulder. "I really wanted to apologise again for the whole situation with Mia. I love her dearly and would never have let her get involved if I'd realised .... we've been good friends for a long time and she's one of the sweetest girls I know. We both thought it was pretty harmless at the time.. that's kind of how it was explained to us, but it was the worst idea ever. I honestly don't care what's said or written about me anyway… I purposely never look. So.. yeah, just sorry…" Chris looked up at Darren, earning himself another kiss.

 

"Make it up to me," he whispered daringly against Darren's lips, straddling his lap in one swift movement. 

 

"Hmmm," Darren hummed, threading his fingers through the back of Chris' hair, pulling him in close to kiss him deeply, parting to ask him the question. "Tell me what you want Chris. Whatever you want?"

 

Chris' heart fluttered wildly, his voice breathy. "Everything… with you.. everything." He gave a daring roll of his hips, thrilled to feel Darren hardening beneath him. He gently traced his fingers over Darren's soft, pink lips, quickly following with his mouth. Darren's hands found their way beneath his shirt, running over the smooth skin of his back as took control of the kiss, thrusting his tongue deep into Chris' mouth. 

 

Darren was encouraged as Chris moaned into the kiss, his hips rocking into the other man's lap of their own accord. "Darren…," Chris whispered reverently, gasping as Darren pressed their bodies closer together, letting Chris feel how hard Darren was beneath him, "please… I want to make you come…. I want you to make me come… I want to see you…" 

 

Darren reached down, running his hand over Chris' straining erection, his cock expanding under the touch to the point that Chris wanted nothing more than to open his jeans and take himself in hand, right where he was. "You're so demanding…" Darren purred softly, warm breath ghosting over Chris' neck. "How about we take this to the bedroom?".

 

********

 

They lay facing each other on the bed, legs intertwined, lips softly touching and the feel of Darren placing his hand gently on the small of Chris' back, even through his clothing, sent sparks rushing through his body. His hand flew up to thread his fingers through Darren's curls, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Chris could have cried… he had wanted, had dreamt of this moment for so so long, never believing it would ever happen. He gasped into the kiss as Darren pressed their bodies closer, their clothed erections softly rubbing together.

 

"Can I see you?" Chris whispered, hoping Darren could pick up on the non specifics of his question, his eyes widening as Darren began unbuttoning his shirt, having already lost the tie as soon as it was decided they were staying in. Chris had seen Darren shirtless before, had even admired the view. They'd had trips to the beach, on their own and with others, when Chris had had nothing to look at but Darren in his tight swimwear, but the sight of Darren undressing, in his bedroom, on his bed, took him to a whole new level. Darren sat up to finish removing his shirt, Chris involuntarily stroking himself as he stared at the body which he would soon be able to lick.. and touch… whatever he wanted..

 

"Hey," Darren smiled, "You too? Am I going to get to see you too?"

 

Chris nodded fervently, huffing a small laugh. "I forgot about me," he said making quick work of his own shirt, his fingers reaching for the button of his jeans, his eyes remaining trained on the other man all the time he was undressing. Then they were naked, kneeling on the bed and naked… and all things Chris wanted to do were here for the taking..

 

"Come here sweetheart,' Darren moved closer, taking Chris' hand and pulling him back down on the bed, how they were laying before, but this time there was bare skin touching bare skin with a wealth of whole new sensations. There was kissing, Chris petting Darren's hair, Darren petting Chris' ass, more kissing and then their erections began to move together and Chris gasped loudly into Darren's mouth. He was so hard... and sensitive and Darren was hard, and leaking… just for him…. and it was almost too much.

 

Chris really didn't want to come. Well, he did, but not yet. He was panting heavily, one leg over Darren's shoulder, the other spread wide… and having begged Darren to 'please, please fuck me', Darren was three fingers in and Chris was a squirming mess. "Darren… oh.." Chris had lost count of the number of times Darren had hit his prostate… and fuck… he was good at this. Chris wasn't completely without any sexual experience, and even though his experience wasn't vast, it'd never felt like this before… and he may as well have been a blushing virgin because he had no idea it could feel this good.

 

"Okay?" Darren asked softly, turning his head slightly to kiss the inside of Chris' knee…. and who knew he could find that such a turn on? "How're you doing?"

 

"Amazing… it's so good Darren. So good. Pleeease…" Darren looked at Chris' cock, hard and leaking, and took pity on him. If he left it any longer he wasn't sure he would last himself. As soon as Darren had put on the condom and lubed himself up, Chris was there, ready to climb into Darren's lap, wanting and desperate.

 

They kissed slowly as Chris slid down carefully over Darren, wrapping his arms tightly round Darren's neck as he bottomed out, resting his head on Darren's shoulder as he got used to the feeling. Darren held him close as they slowly rocked together, breathing, waiting… Chris knew he wasn't going to last as he began moving, up and down, up and down, sliding up and down, and then Darren took him in hand and he was coming so hard all he could do was hang on tightly to Darren, virtually sobbing into the crook of his neck.

 

"Chris baby…" Darren groaned as he soothed Chris through… pushing Chris down on to his back when he'd come down a little, folding his legs against his chest and thrusting inside him hard and deep, for just a few short moments before he was coming, collapsing on top of Chris, completely sated after.

 

They ignored the need for a shower, settling for a perfunctory clean up for now, Darren persuading Chris with the promise of shower sex when they were a little more recovered. 

 

"Was it good?" Chris asked into Darren's chest, his naked body draped over him unceremoniously. "I know I'm not that experienced.."

 

Darren managed a scoffing noise. "Stop that right now…" He swatted Chris' ass playfully. "I loved it… and I can assure you, experience doesn't come into it… but making love with someone you're in love with… really does.."

 

Chris leaned up to give Darren a kiss. "I love you too, Darren… from the day I first met you.." He felt a finger gently trace along the crack of his ass. 

 

Perhaps now would be a good time for that shower.

 

********

 

They decided, as they lay nakedly curled together later that evening, that they wouldn't flaunt their new relationship, but neither would they hide it. There'd be no big announcement at work, but they wouldn't avoid a little hand holding and an occasional kiss on the lips and they guessed that most of their friends wouldn't be surprised when they found out they were together now.

 

For the immediate future they probably wouldn't be seen arriving at public events as a couple as such, but there was nothing to stop them being seen sitting together and talking to each other… they were friends after all. In time, when it would inevitably come out at some point, they'd deal with it. 

 

Behind closed doors would be a different matter of course. They had a lot of time to make up for.

 

**********

 

The End x


End file.
